a body that quits & a God who doesn’t

I had a nice long post written under this same title, talking about how the enemy has a tendency to attack right before big things happen for the Kingdom: one of our sponsor children, a little boy we’ve met and invested in, has left our care pointe, and we won’t be seeing him again; I broke my tailbone the week before our wedding, and the 16-hour flight and dirt roads will not be kind to that injury; one team member’s father broke his back just a week before our departure; a missionary friend miscarried today; another team member lost a close friend today. A young boy was dragged into a lagoon by an alligator. More than 100 people were injured or killed in Orlando this weekend.

It was a beautiful post, and I spent a lot of time working on it. And while it’s the least of our problems, the post has simply vanished. I saved the draft multiple times, but there is no record of it anywhere on my computer. (the irony is not lost on me.) I’m choosing to look the other way–maybe Jesus is trying to humble me, or maybe what I was trying to say isn’t what needs to be heard. Instead of sharing my words with you, I will share someone else’s.

Today on the radio, the DJ shared a statement from Ann Voskamp:

The world needs prayer warriors who don’t see prayer as the least we can do, but as the most we can do.

I will sit here with a busted tailbone and eat my words and my humble pie as I ask for prayer for H and I, and really for our whole team. There are teenagers leaving home for the first time, and parents leaving small children behind. There is a young woman who recently got engaged. A newlywed couple, and a brand new husband who is getting ready to leave for boot camp. I am in the midst of a fibromyalgia flare up that meds can’t keep under control. And, with just 3 days until we depart for Swaziland, we still have a need to raise $1300. Our God is good, even when our circumstances are not, and we know that God will be glorified regardless of what is required of us. We kneel here and pray confidently and expectantly that God’s will be done by the time we get on a plane Saturday afternoon.

My body might want to quit, but my God never will.

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10 Days // Prayer

In Honor of Maya Angelou:

If you have been anywhere near the internet or radio today, you have probably heard about the passing of the acclaimed author Maya Angelou. I first encountered her work as a sophomore in high school, after stumbling upon her book, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. It was a difficult book read, due merely to the content, but I love the outlook Ms. Angelou has maintained throughout her life, despite the struggle, pain and, if we’re going to be honest, unfairness found in her life.

She is on the list of people, living or dead, I would invite to a dinner party. I wish I could have met her; she has so much wisdom to pass on. I’d like to start tonight’s post with some of her words: 

“I know that when I pray, something wonderful happens. Not just to the person or persons for whom I’m praying, but also something wonderful happens to me. I’m grateful that I’m heard.”

Prayer is a vital aspect of mission trips—both in the preparation and in the going and doing and in the coming back and choosing beauty over heartbreak. It’s important for our team to be in prayer, but it is also important for us to have a team of prayer warriors Stateside as well. I have loved hearing the kind words of readers, words of encouragement and love and understanding. You have all been such a blessing, but I need to ask one more favor of you:

I need your support. 

I am a broke college kid, and I totally understand if you are unable to support me financially. [but if you can that would be awesome too and there’s a link to your right] Either way, I’d like to ask you to pray for me and for my team. We are just 10 days away from getting on a plane to the other side of the world, and we need prayer now more than ever. As a group, we have been struggling to raise the necessary funds for the trip. We have each encountered road blocks—sickness, nerves, fear of the unknown, difficulty in preparation—and it is crunch time. I hate using words like spiritual warfare because it makes me sound like one of those crazy Bible-thumping Christians that don’t like dancing or necklines that fall below the larynx and I couldn’t be farther from one of those if I tried…but spiritual warfare is a real and actual thing. I have seen it happen, and I have heard stories. The issue is addressed in scripture. The best example I can give is in Matthew 4 (verses 1-11), where Satan appears before Jesus in the desert. It’s very literal compared to the spiritual warfare of today; today, it can be difficult to see the difference between blessings from God and intentional harm. For example: I had to go to a doctor’s appointment and pick up a prescription last semester, and it took far longer than I anticipated. The line at the pharmacy was forever and a half long (read: 4 people in front of me, with only one worker). It maybe took ten minutes longer than normal, but when you are late to Dr. Sharp’s Intro to Student Ministry class every second counts. By the time I left and hit every red light between the pharmacy and the high way, I was extremely salty and extremely late. I was on my way to a freaking MINISTRY class. Surely, this is what spiritual warfare is, yes?

No. As I approached the ramp and sat at the red light (because of course), I watched a first responder team rip a person out of a car crash just before it rolled off the hill of the ramp. Someone had run a red light and hit the car turning left onto the I-26 on ramp, roughly ten minutes before I needed to make the same turn. It could have very easily been me, rolling down that embankment. But instead, I was only 5 minutes late to class.

This is just one example that blows my mind a little bit and is seriously humbling. Getting sick on a mission trip, cancelled flights, insufficient funds, broken down buses…any number of things can happen, and this is why we need you. Pray for safety, pray for peace, for health, for provision, for clear and distinct guidance.

Each day in Swaziland, I will try to provide a specific topic of prayer. I am not the best pray-er, and sometimes I don’t always know what to say. If you are the same way, do not fear! God accepts all kinds of prayers, no matter how unskilled or plain or short. Please keep us in you prayers in the next three weeks, until we are safely on the ground in the US. Thank you, thank you thank you.

10 days. 16 hours. 38 minutes.